Why would a regular guy, who fears confrontation, become an HOA President? The answer is really simple. I was one of 3 unlucky bastards that showed up to the HOA meeting.
I write this blog because its not socially acceptable to run around the complex in my adult Underoos while pretending to shoot lazer beams out of my fingers at the jackasses who have not paid their dues. I've also become an angry person with several of the issues facing the HOA and the small; 22 units, 11 buildings and 4 trees, condominium complex, of which, I am currently the HOA President. No dangling participle, nice huh?
I'm going to start at the beginning, end at the end, and over the course of my lifetime, update this blog with the interesting, insane, and ridiculous crap that happens to me on a daily basis. I did mention that there are only 22 units.....what could I possible have to write about?
For the beginning I will keep it short. I returned to the Great Northwest after living on the East Coast for 8 years. I decided I did not want a property that I would have to update or remodel. The city I was destined for was out of my price range but there were several condominiums at decent prices. It was 2007 and I decided that a garden style condominium, which had been remodeled and was move in condition without any need for upgrades or remodeling. In fact the entire complex was being rehabilitated and all the buildings had Hardiplank siding in great colors, front doors were all matchy matchy and the big selling point...each building only had 2 units, the number of annoying neighbors was at a minimum. The grounds were nice, not amazing, but not a disaster, safely landscaped with room to grow...or room to replant. I was ready for a home that did not require me to maintain the grass or shrubs or weeds or bark dust...as I was paying for that in the dues. Speaking of which, the dues were reasonable...
The condo layout was fantastic. A calming circular pattern with each room flowing into the next but with a dividing wall that kept the bedrooms quiet. Safe Sex to me is not hearing my friends screwing on my sofa when they are too incapacitated to get to their own homes. In my head, at that time, this condo was perfect. The perfect size, the perfect placement in the complex, only 1 attached neighbor and the builders seemed genuine. My realtor was an acquaintance of mine and he thought it was a good buy. The home inspector gave my selected unit a thumbs up, after giving another unit a thumbs down. I was excited. I loved being a homeowner and even more in love that I did not have to renovate...not only did I not have to, I didn't want to, it was all brand new on the inside.
I plunked money down, bought the necessary appliances and moved in. I quickly settled in and loved my new neighborhood. New neighbors moved in and those that moved in before me were social, friendly and pleasant to converse with in passing.
Now as the HOA President its been 4 years and 10 units will go through foreclosure before year's end, I meet with an attorney daily to continue suing the original builders, one resident has not been seen since March of 2008, another resident has magically transformed her deck into a garbage dump, West Coast Bank is my new BFF, and we cannot afford to pay the Landscaper to water the grass. CRUNCH!
Stay tuned for updates...it only gets better from here.
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