Welcome back to being an HOA President.
Often times residents, and that includes renters, will come to me with their petty problems as if I'm some kind of residential playground monitor. I'm going to use the term residents to refer to owners and renters as using the term douchebag sounds bitter and unprofessional. So...residents will often come to me when something goes awry and it seem to "small claims" to call the police but they won't deal with the situation themselves...hence knocking on my door with the following complaints. Here is where as the reader you have the advanced knowledge of knowing I hate being the HOA President, elections are next month (fingers crossed!!), and that I think most people are jackasses. Now...on to the following complaints...
"Someone parked in the visitor spot that my boyfriend usually parks in."
"The trash is really full."
"There were kids that were walking through the complex and they hopped the fence on the east side of the complex."
"My parking spot (which was already planned and deeded to the condo unit with the county) is too far from my front door."
"The landscaper didn't water the plants in front of my unit enough"...please note the guy does not water at all, it has a high cost and then the HOA has to pay for the increased water bill and since we haven't had sufficient funds, ie we're kinda broke...the landscaper does not water at all.
"Is the HOA going to pay to have the empty lot next door trimmed down, its kind of an eyesore" The lot next door is not ours, its fully fenced and this resident does not live near the empty lot. Douchebag.
and last but not least...
"I know the HOA doesn't have the money but will you guys pay to scrape the moss off the roof over my part of the condo."
I'm not allowed to physically strike the residents but I do roll my eyes...in front of them, and tell them that I will "look into it."
I get it. I know what my position is, but really? You bought into a condo complex and you want someone else to police the parking? If I owned a house...and my neighbor parked in my driveway...no note, no knock on the door, nothing. Would you walk to your nosy neighbor's house and ask them to get the other neighbor to move their car? NO! You'd walk your anger filled ass right over the offending neighbor's house, knock on the door and as soon as it opened, yell at the top of your lungs (yell only if there is an adult, there's no reason to yell at the kids, they can't drive) back to yelling at the top of your lungs..."MOVE YOUR FUCKING CAR!"
And if the landscaper didn't water your area of the condo complex, then perhaps you could chip in and water it yourself.
Stay tuned for more wacky hijinks, as 5 units in this complex move out of foreclosure and into the hands of people who will pay 40% of the original price that the rest of us "residents" paid.
